Sip Brew Bar
Here with this cortado, being present in this moment. Being alive to the possibilities of being. No spiritual props, mantras or dogmas. Just this. Not words. Do I Am.
Rain all day, home, the small practice room
Reading “Notes on the Next Attention”, pages 102-103 “Love and compassion can come through me ~ compassion for my (various) parts, too… to be able to experience something real; to receive from Above this that is real ~ a movement ~ both worlds together for a moment.”
Also, from Ian ~ Frank Sinclair’s Prayer on the Anniversary of Gurdjieff’s death.
Finally from Ian, Jeanne de Salzmann: “I begin to realize that my presence is where my attention is.”
This morning feeling these presences, flowing through me… a continuity of being. From Mister Gurdjieff to Richard, Robert, Ian to de Salzmann, J Foster, Yvonne, Jim Nes, Nishima, Anson, Pierce, Sid… a continuation, continuum of presencing. A direct line of being-transmission. A blessed life. The connectiveness.
A quiteness that can fill the body, even in the coffee shop.
“Listening quitely to ourselves we know that we are, even though we may not know what we are. Perhaps this is the ultimate knowledge” (William Segal)
This morning reading Michel de Salzmann and remembering William Segal’s writings. A small point of maturity is touched in me. There is a groundedness that can be available. That I can simply sit in. This is a maturity. Not reactive. Pure. One cannot attain it. Simple being. Is-ness. Sometimes I remember these things. Sometimes I can cease the struggle to attain, acquire, collect. Why the need to acquire? It is from a feeling of lack. Un-necessary. All this is impermanent. All of life is fleeting. And this is beautiful. How disappointed I have been with myself. To what benefit? To be a man means to accept what is, smile to ourselves at the reflections, the currents, the ebb and flow of the life force in it’s dance, totality. One cannot control it. One cannot even control oneself.
To be at peace one must be at one with circumstances; develop an inner separation, impartiality. Neither “this”, nor “that.” “Develop” is, of course, the wrong word. One cannot grow into it; one must surrender. It is the default position when I drop holding onto “my agenda” and stop being so personal.
This is the key. It’s not personal. Nothing is. It’s just life. Good day… bad day. Be a mountain. The mountain does not take it personal. It merely exists in it’s perfection, in just this moment.
Seeking to awaken the vertical dimension in me, as well as the horizontal dimension. To sense, to feel the attraction. But to inhabit both and embrace life and love fully. This is the aim, to be aware of and sense existence; to live in this state, rather than inhabit a state of sleep. To live the awakened life. I can trace this attraction very far back in my life … strangely to one particular street of my early childhood: West Avenue. Early awakening experiences, of realizing the miraculousness of inhabiting a body, and coming into that. Later, feeding my budding interests with new age magazine; a definite arc, a resonance.